9th of Frostfall, Sundas

Another beautiful night last night. The sky was clear, showing the beauty of the stars. The moon that shown was waxing, always an auspicious sign, and a beautiful rusty red in color.

Extra prayers went up, the dancing was more intense. And everywhere I was surrounded by people who understand, who really feel as I do.

If Urtisa had not sent guards after me I would have easily spent the rest of my days here, provided I was given permission. I would make myself useful to the clan, probably in the context of a warrior, since that seems the way men are allowed to become involved with the clan. I would happily act as guardian to these people. I know the ways of house mer and could give advice if needed. I would be able to eliminate the threats from outside and keep this place safe.

Alas, it was not to be my fate. Even now there is no way for me to make such a plan reality. Mother, for one, would never allow me to shirk my house responsibilities. And there is Sildras’ education to worry after. No, that is a dream for days long past.

I volunteered to be on guard duty this evening, since it is usual for the clan to take turns away from the activities to protect the others. I thought it only proper to also take a shift, after all, the tribe has been so generous and welcoming, it is the least I can do.

For six months they sheltered me from Urtisa’s men and afterwards gave me supplies for my journey. I need to repay them every kindness I can afford.

Mah, life here is so simple and good. It is about the things that truly matter, survival and faith. People care for one another openly and honestly. It is a necessity of this life style, but it means that the people around you care about you genuinely. There is none of that feigned concern while they prepare blade or poison or a poisoned blade for you. Or maybe just a fire ward under your bed. People here are direct and their words carry the meaning given at face value when spoken to those of the tribe.

I am sure Qau-dar would have preferred this type of interaction to that of my house. This culture is closer to his own than that of the house mer. Matriarchy and a group living together lead by wise women with faith in their gods.

No, I cannot think of my Daelekil. Not now. It is still too painful, too open a wound, to throw salt in it now. What I need is a bandage, an elixir, a distraction. I must concentrate on the celebrations and on my repaying the tribe for their hospitality now and in the past.

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