12th of Last Seed, Fredas

What a beautiful night. Shooting stars everywhere! We have a term for it in Dunmeri, I suppose it would translate to starlight storm. It was as though the gods were making the night sky dance. Gorgeous. What a wonderful world we live in.

I was glad to have gotten to share the experience with Qau-dar, Speaks-Too-Soon, and Ma’riani. It is a moment I shall cherish in my memories until my dying day. I sang a song of prayer to Azura while staring up into the beautiful of the night.

Things have been peaceful both yesterday and today as we travel. Qau-dar is looking himself again. Still need to get him back to his usual healthy size. He is starting to gain back a little of the weight he had lost. And his eyes certainly show that he is mentally back to his old self.

I keep trying to find the right time to tell Qau-dar, and maybe the others, that I am leaving, but I can never bring myself to say the words. I need to take Qau-dar aside and speak with him! I need to tell him of everything. If I am not to make it back alive, how would my soul feel having left this world without ever letting him know? With my luck, I would end up trapped by Urtisa somehow, how would tie my soul forever to help will, forcing me to help her, even after death.

We should arrive in a town soon. Perhaps once we are there I can find the courage to speak to Qau-dar. If he rejects me then, it will only be a few days back to Whiterun before my departure. And then I will be gone. I don’t know if I shall tell him I am leaving. I should at least tell of the rest. Of taking care of those who wished him ill in Whiterun, not knowing that he would be implicated in their deaths. Of the time spent searching for him. Of meeting Avon and learning of home. And of how that stinking Altmer had me kidnapped for his own amusement and that his master would not punish him because he was finding some use for him in revenge against his husband leaving him. I should tell him all of it.

Azura, please show me the path I should follow.

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