How do you hope to have a proper relationship if you can’t be honest about the big parts of your life?

My dear,

No one is ever wholly honest in a relationship. You have to at least remit certain things to be successful.

Do you wake up in the morning, look at your lover and tell them they look like a skeever was nesting in their hair as they slept? Of course not! It may well be true, but telling them that is rude. There are some things that are not meant to share.

Now, I know you mean well. And normally I might agree that if you cannot be honest about the bigger parts of your personality and beliefs, then it can certainly cause problems later on. You may even judge that the actions that have come to pass are a reflection of that, of me not sharing my beliefs.

I would like to point out that I have shared far more of my past with Qau-dar than he has with me. I know almost nothing about him. He prefers it that way. And at this stage in our relationship, I am perfectly happy to leave him to keep his secrets as he had so far seemed ready to leave me to mine.

Honesty is a two-way road. It cannot be solely me who is sharing their truths. It puts me in far too vulnerable a situation. I do not know what dangers he has faced in the past, for it is very possible all he has told me is lies. I told him of the dangers that follow me because it impacted him as my traveling companion. Beyond that, there is no need to have his life disrupted by my past when it is not going to effect him.

If at some point things change and he has need to know of it, then I will disclose the details. Until then, I have been content in our relationship and how much we shared. While I am curious to learn more, pushing someone to disclose what they hold sacred only breeds resentment.

If he asks me to tell him truthfully about some of my past, I will judge from his reactions how much to disclose. It may be too late for us, I don’t know. But certainly I would like to patch things up before I go shooting my chances in the knee.

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