My dear flax blossom,
I will not ask that you riffle far enough back through the pages of my personal journal to Frostfall, when my journey with Qau-dar all began. There were dangers we both protected each other from. Countless bitter cold nights that I kept him warm. My own life force I used to continuous keep flame cloaks around him as we were stuck in a blizzard on a mountain slope and he swore he would die of the cold. We fought off a nest of venomous spiders to find shelter, it was painful to dispatch of them, but I did it in order to keep us alive, Mephala will understand.
These are what companions do to keep one another alive. You look out for one another. You save each other from the dangers of the wild. We took turns to hunt and cook to keep each other fed. I watched over him while he slept to keep wild things from coming to take him, just as he did of me.
I saved his life and he mine. That is just the way of things.
I do not know if his sickness was life threatening or not, but the way he was acting, he seemed to believe he might. If he had continued to act that way around Nords, they might well have killed him to prevent a deadly infection they believed him to carry, even though it seems Qau-dar had a mild illness. But I tracked down a healer, damn her conniving little mind, to save him. While things did not turn out well in that case, she was the only one who would see to him. If my poor Daelekil had not wound up tangled in the middle of my web by mistake, everything would have worked out smoothly.
I acted too brashly. I was too emotionally charged from the shock of his disappearance to know that he might be following me. And while the priestess has paid for her villainy, I do not know if the Altmer’s saving of Qau-dar’s life is enough retribution for his role in it.