I feel immeasurably guilty over my behavior yesterday. I cannot believe that I had acted so jealously nor been so angry over such a small thing. It was trivial! Yet my emotions had been so strong.
I fear for what that means. What took over me to make me act so? I rarely ever feel such anger. So why now? What could have triggered such an intense reaction?
The only obvious sign is my tiredness. I have not been sleeping well, nor often. That is bound to alter one’s judgement. Or perhaps it is the sobriety. I cannot say for sure the cause.
Our free stay at the inn came to its end and Qau-dar wishes to leave. I agreed and packed our belongings. I feel so guilty over my behavior that I feel that I must make some amends and be of no trouble for a while. Not that I ever make trouble on purpose, but the three know that trouble finds its way to me when it can.
Ah, that I were born to a different sign or a different time, perhaps it would not be so. But surely it is all for a purpose. The troubles are there for me to learn, or to prove myself. In this I must believe.
Alas, I fear my sweet Daelekil is still cross at me. How can I make my amends? I still need to go to pick up some spices, perhaps I can find him something special there. Or in shop nearby. I must find something.