11th of Morning Star, second entry

It feels so good to be back to myself again.
What a relief to be able to speak again. And sing! My voice was a little
rough after so long not having warmed up, but all in all seemed to do
the trick.

Speaks-Too-Soon seemed much less stiff after a few drinks and even
engaged in some small talk, although her answers were curt, to say the
least. But we are communicating, which is positive. And with Qau-dar and
I back on our old schedule, we can keep an eye on her as we travel.

The important thing, of course, is that everyone is uninjured and our
bodyguard is continuing to travel with us. That and I am in silk again!

I know for you, my dearest reader, whomever you may be, this may not
seem so significant. To me, however, it is wonderful. Since I lost my
clothes escaping from Urtisa’s men out the window of The Blushing Maid,
and I can assure you there was no blushing on any of those well
experienced men or women, I have not worn a tunic of pure high grade
silk. At times like this it makes me miss the family estate with my
wardrobe of clothing and a cellar stocked with the best spirits one can
buy without being a member of the council. I bet the lads in the Daesoohn’m Faraynif Tong had a grand
celebration for the New Life Festival. We always did.

Here I am, dwelling on that terrible life. I must stop glorifying the
few splendors from that existence of social imprisonment. If only my
mother had run off and lived with the Ashlanders instead of caving to
grandfather’s wishes, then my life could have been….

No, things are as they are. I must believe I am on this path for a
reason. Maybe it’s luck, or fate, or karma, or to discover my real
purpose for living. I don’t know, but I have to do this in my own way. I
have to live on my own terms. I’ve committed to this course and there
is no return. To go back is a living death.

Great, now I am feeling dreadfully depressed. I shall drink more brandy and work on another song.

Brandy is going in tonight’s stew as well.

And I’m marinating the meat in it.

If that fails to elevate the problem, I’ll drink ‘til I pass out.

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